The holiday season can be tough if you are part of a dysfunctional family system. It can improve though, if you can apply a few simple ideas:
Step out of denial
Accept the reality of your situation
Set realistic goals for yourself
Addiction and alcoholism is a family system issue. As a child or partner of an active alcoholic-addict you will be as affected by their illness as they are themselves.
To ensure you have a good life free from their addiction you have to risk assess effectively This means acknowledging the full extent of the problem that your sibling, partner or parent has.
Minimising, rationalising or denying their problem will leave you open to codependent thinking or behaviour. Codependency will become the addiction that consumes you.
When you recognise the extent of the problem your loved one has, you will then need to understand that you cannot change them.
You didn’t cause it, you can’t cure it and you can’t control it. Accepting that your loved one has the capacity to change if the choose will help you become free of your sense of responsibility for them or your family’s happiness.
When you set yourself free from being responsible in some way for their lives you can bing the focus back to yourself. improving your own life is the thing you can become very successful at.
So applying this to Christmas?
Step out of denial – Your loved one is an addict or alcoholic. They don’t use because of their problems, their using is their problem. They cannot and will not use safely.
Accept reality – Christmas with the addict will be the same as it always has been, you cannot change or manage the behaviour.
Have realistic goals – You want a healthy christmas without drama and also to see your addict/alcoholic? Maybe you need to plan for two? Spend some time with your addict/alcoholic and also later spend quality time with close friends or loved ones who don’t use?
For today say
Today I am strong, today I am powerful, today I can make choices that will change my life for the better
Ref: The Holidays In An Alcohol or Addicted Family: 3 Ways To Survive
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